Resilience
Resilience - noun
the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties.
the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape.
Is it just me or does the pace of life seem to be getting faster. Does life also feel less stable generally? A short while ago I decided that I needed to up my own game. I needed to future proof my life if I was going to feel more comfortable. To my mind there are three areas that need to be looked at when future proofing life, resilience, adaptability and composure. I decided to use hypnosis to build my skills in these three areas, so I created a program to understand each of them better and then to improve my own abilities and skills. This blog post is the second in the series of a very brief summary of my investigations into that trio that led to the change programme.
Resilience refers to our capacity to adapt and recover from challenging experiences. In a world filled with uncertainty and constant change, this quality is incredibly important. It allows us to manage stress, face challenges head-on, and recover from setbacks. With resilience, we can maintain a hopeful perspective and continue to progress, even when times are tough. It's not merely about getting by; it's about flourishing. By nurturing our resilience, we become more self-assured, independent, and better prepared to tackle whatever life presents. In essence, resilience is a crucial component for achieving success and finding happiness in today’s ever-evolving landscape.
Life can throw some really tough challenges our way, like stressful events, trauma, and ongoing difficulties, which can significantly affect our brains. This can lead to conditions such as posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and various other mental health issues. The good news is that studies indicate our brains have an amazing ability to adapt and change when faced with these hardships, a phenomenon referred to as neuroplasticity.
Your brain (i.e. you); is more like a sturdy houseplant than a delicate flower. Even when it’s overlooked or kept in dim light, it continues to flourish. It shows remarkable persistence. Resilience isn’t something extraordinary; it’s just how the brain naturally functions.
Difficult experiences aren’t fun at the time, but they are a part of what makes you YOU. Developing resilience comes from the balance of protective experiences and coping skills on one side and adversity on the other. Resilient people don't feel less distress, grief, or anxiety than others. What sets them apart is their ability to employ healthy coping strategies to navigate these challenges, which often leads to personal strength and growth, allowing them to come out even stronger than before.
Resilience doesn't imply that someone won't face challenges or hardships. Individuals who have gone through significant adversity or trauma often feel emotional pain and stress. In reality, the journey to becoming resilient usually includes a fair amount of emotional turmoil. Resilient people view themselves as survivors, they keep going and get through difficult times.
Much like we discussed in the previous article on composure, emotional regulation is necessary to forge a way through. This doesn’t mean not experiencing strong emotions, but it does mean that you recognise these feelings are temporary and will pass. Having or developing a strong locus of control is another way to improve your resilience. Self-acceptance and self-compassion are also necessary. You are who you are and where you are now, fighting that won’t change anything. Accepting who you are and realising that you have faults and fears is the first step in becoming stronger. Humans are social creatures, having a strong network of supportive people is another sign of resilience. Nurturing friendships and meaningful relationships allows us to seek help and lean on others when needed.
There are four primary types of resilience.
Physical resilience is about how our bodies adapt to changes and bounce back from challenges like illnesses and injuries. This kind of resilience is crucial for our overall health. It influences not only the aging process but also how we react to and recover from physical stress and health problems. Getting enough sleep, eating a nutritious diet, and engaging in regular exercise are ways to strengthen this type of resilience.
Mental resilience is all about how effectively we can handle change and uncertainty. Those who embody this resilience are often calm and adaptable in the face of crises. They utilize their mental strength to find solutions, keep progressing, and stay hopeful, even when encountering setbacks.
Emotional resilience:
People with emotional resilience are aware of their feelings and maintain a connection with their inner selves. This understanding allows them to calm their minds and control their emotions when facing negative experiences. They maintain a positive outlook, realising that tough times and challenging emotions are only temporary.
Social resilience, sometimes known as community resilience, refers to the ability of groups to recover from adversity. It centres on the connections among individuals and their joint efforts to solve issues that impact them both personally and as a group. Elements of social resilience include gathering after crises, providing social support, being aware of community risks, and cultivating a strong community spirit. These responses are especially important during challenging situations that affect many people at once.
These four areas are not separate within us, they overlap.
Many of us tend to develop habitual ways of interpreting situations that can weaken our resilience and may even contribute to feelings of depression and anxiety, particularly when we’re feeling tired, stressed, or overwhelmed. These patterns are often referred to as ‘thinking traps’ because they lead us to view circumstances in a negative light. Once we make these quick interpretations, we often seek out more evidence that backs up our thoughts while disregarding any information that contradicts them, a phenomenon known as confirmation bias. The way we think has a significant impact on how we feel, and how we feel impacts what we say and do in response, which has consequences for our interactions with others and how happy and resilient we are.
There are lots of possible thinking traps we can habitually fall into;
Blaming ourselves – believing we’re at the root cause of anything that goes wrong.
Believing it’s permanent – when something bad happens we think “That’s it – it will always be like this, there’s nothing I can do”.
Believing it will ripple out – when something difficult happens in one part of our life we instantly think that other aspects of our life will go wrong too.
Blaming others – believing that our difficulties and problems are all caused by others.
All or nothing thinking (sometimes called black and white thinking) - Interpreting something or someone as all bad or all good instead of seeing possible shades of in-between.
Mind-reading – assuming you know what others are thinking or expecting.
Mis-labelling – judging yourself or others on the basis of a single or narrow situation.
Shoulds – having fixed beliefs about what we or others should/ought to/must do.
Magnification or Minimisation – over- or underplaying the meaning, importance or likelihood of things.
Emotions as facts – believing that if we feel something it’s true.
Catastrophisation – spiralling to the worst possible scenario, even if this is extremely unlikely.
Certain factors may give some individuals an edge in resilience, but it's not a quality reserved for just a few. Resilience is made up of behaviours, thoughts, and actions that anyone can learn to develop. To enhance your own resilience, it's crucial to pay attention to and cultivate the following aspects:
Competence: Learn and develop new skills, find opportunities for education, training, or pursuing new hobbies.
Confidence: Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Embrace a growth mindset and view failures as learning opportunities. Surround yourself with positive people who inspire and motivate you.
Connection: Develop meaningful relationships and build a strong support network.
Character: Take some time to think about what truly matters to you and ensure your actions reflect those values. Foster integrity, honesty, and empathy in all your dealings with others.
Contribution: By contributing to something greater than yourself, you cultivate a sense of purpose and meaning.
Coping: Develop healthy coping mechanisms to manage stress and adversity. This might involve activities such as mindfulness, physical exercise, writing in a journal, or reaching out to supportive friends or family.
Control: Remember there are some things we can control, and some things we can’t. learning to be proactive and dealing with what you can while at the same time working with those things we can’t and making the best of them.
Memories and experiences are what make us, and resilience grows from them.
Hypnosis gives you the opportunity to keep the learnings and strengths you have got from them whilst allowing you to move on from the pain or discomfort.
In fact, you can use hypnosis to improve your ability to withstand and/or recover from difficulties, using and developing your brain’s natural plasticity to allow you to recover and grow even further. Using hypnosis, you can develop your emotional regulation skills and develop a stronger locus of control. If you're ready to develop your own resilience get in touch.
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